Ok is alright with me

my accomplishments of this week include
-finally finishing my application to SUNY Orange
-Ordering my cap and gown
-getting my car fixed tomorrow
-taking my 5 hour course wednesday or saturday
-AND dun..dun...dun....Handing in my last term paper for this year! and my high school experience

Now on to better things, such as the weather
its amazing and i am in love, with the weather that is
it gives me such ambition
Ive been going to the gym
i feel wonderful
i have 7 weeks to go then im done with school till august YIPPEEE!!!!
I will hopefully be working at......FREE SPIRIT NATURE CAMP!!!!!
its the best i can do this summer besides actually going to camp
this summer i plan to go hiking and to the beach a ton and get very tan
oh im going to see MATT NATHANSON and DAVE MATTHEWS!!!!! boy am i excited
im dragging katie to dave matthews and she will love it, she suggested we make tee shirts hahaha i love her
ok well i need to sleep oh thursday im going to the city for the art club field trip nevermind im not in art club!!!!

breaks, trips, work, sun, and trash

today was one of the best days i have had yet this year. it was wonderful, and painful, enlightening and sorrowful! but i loved it, and i am actually looking forward to school, i know its weird, considering break wasnt that great, and i wish it could stay break forever, i guess thats why i am ready for school to get the next 10 weeks over and never have to be in high school again. its one of my favorite times of year, i am a sun and flowers kind of child, i think that is why i am bright and energetic. I went to church today and it was good, i went to bible study and that was better than church, and i went to work only to leave 10 mins later, and grocery shopping[i love the grocery store ;)] and i cleaned my room and remade my bed. my bed is work of magic! I went for about an hour walk with morgan and it was like medicine for my soul we talked about our normal walk things and it was incredible, she can understand things about me that barely anyone else can, and it helps clear both of our heads. it helps us feel closer when we go in opposite directions a lot. I decided im letting go of a bunch of stop, and im going to stop worrying and trying to change myself, and hating myself for my inability to change, im obviously this way for a reason, so im going to live with it for now. So its time for figuring out my summer plans, and im not going to camp, im staying home and going to do way fun things here, like camping and the beach, and hiking, and a whole bunch of other things, i should make a list. My family is going camping for memorial day weekend, by my family i mean, morgan, tab, david plantation, mom, dave, dan, matt, yana, and kenny, and whoever else. oh something interesting i notived while i was visiting my dad, to him blood family is everything, but he isnt that close to his family besides his immediate family, and with me i have alot of people who are my family but arent blood that i would do sometimes do more for than my actual family, i thought that was kinda crazy, So my visit to my grandma's to see bryan last monday broke my heart, and i still dont think im recovered, i think that part of me will always be broken. I miss tabatha, and david plantation. im feeling a bit all over the place and i think i like it. i walked into a door today and it was at bible study and bev was the only one who noticed and laughed at me alot, its a regular occurance. and i decided im like a scarecrow because i have no balance.......oh well, or maybe im just clumsy too


i have to find my summer soundtrack.......
right now i have
road to joy-bright eyes
permanent- david cook
the way i loved you

home is where the heart is

that is such an over used phrase, but it completely describes me right now.
The trip was amazing! they dont change and its nice knowing what to expect even though i was dreading it so much. But it was terrrible being away for a hoilday because holidays are my families things.


thats enough for now, I have to check oh headbutt, i swear i dont try to kill him

april showers bring may flowers........

April, its already april, i feel like time is blowing by, it was like this last year too, and the year before maybe....... all i know is that im sad march is over, its my favorite....... One week, i will be saying my good byes and zipping up my suitcase this is causing me anxiety, and i dont like it, im just ready to fly home, thats my favorite part, flying home and crying because i missed it so much.
when i get home i think im getting a tattoo, i think i decided it being on my foot and its going to be the word change because its everything i stand for, but not at the same time, its weird, but i think it will also have a star or two, im excited. I went to school today, like the good child i try to be, and it was good, the rain put me in a funk though, but it has to rain every now and then. its days like today, i want to take a walk with morgan and my rainboots(even with the hole), a sweatshirt. my zune, and a bright umbrella and talk about our lives now, what they were and what is to come..... Im full of dreams in a magnet field where at times i feel like i want completely different things all at once....oh well its how i am i dont really want it to change, there is that word again, oh i feel like im on the brink of something life changing, or something that changes the immediate things in my life.