ahhhhhh

SO Im nervous and im not sure why. I cant get through this day without God and its been awhile since i've said that and that seriously crushes me. I realive how so far i am from really where i want to be. I remember a time where spirituality was my number one, and not its not and i need to fix it. I know for most people that might be really really stupid. But i feel like a better person. I NEED TO BE A BETTER PERSON. I need a fresh start. I went to church yesterday the first time since thanksgiving. and the sermon was about looking back but looking forward. and how its today that you need to make your changes not tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes, it is always today! and i want to be the person who my sister is proud of. I want to be an example. I want to be like Jesus. I want to love! thats where I am today. I cant get through today alone.....its hard and I dont like it anymore. why cant i just wake up one day and everything is the way i want it to be. Im tired, but not really. I guess im just tired on not having everyone i love be with me! I feel like im about to start this crazy new adventure, and i can't wait. everything is new and its a bit scary but i think it will be life changing and amazing!

CRAZY

CRAZY SHIZ HAS GONE DOWN!!!!! life as i know it could be changing ridiculously very soon :) BUT ITS GOOD!!!!! AHHHH God is good!!!!!

soaking in

today is my day to soak in...........2009 is over I thought that would be my year, and in sooo many ways it was. But im looking forward to 2010 sooo much more.

2009-

I make a list every year of things i wanted to accomplish and they are usually stupid..like.......find a boy......or change.......or make friends..............or just graduate and start college...

well here is my list of what actually happened

I made the best of friends, as i look around and i have these friends who are my family......Its amazing

I have grown into adulthood, sort of, i made decisions that effect my entire life from here on out, and I have a pretty steady job

I changed, I even have the tattoo to prove it

I found the love of my life, when i was least expecting it

I graduated and started college, but that still feels unreal

Im pretty sure i embraced my entire life this year.

I met the most incredible people. I got to be apart of something that has changed my life.

dreams

My life of this moment is a dream. In color i might add. I am desperately trying to make them come true..........Its a wait and see kind thing to find out if im succeeding. I guess I'll tell you sometime in May.

Holiday!

YAY FOR HOLIDAYS! and as the english put it i am on holiday for the next week! I am ecstatic!!!!

monday

For once in my entire life Im ecstatic for monday! Im going on vacation with no one in my family and I cant wait for thanksgiving and wednesday!

tired

im tired and Im lonely cause i miss dom but its only another week I can make it right? haha i feel so stupid sometimes I used to talk about never needing a guy and now I know i dont NEED it, but it sure as hell makes me feel together and better and loved and happy and more alive