blogging.........

I hate that people get mad at me when I was trying to do the ri whatever! I'm blogging because I was told to blog. Um this weeghtk has been crazy, well make theApril was crazy. My garden is so awesome if I wanted to pick one thing in life it would probably be my garden, whoever knew I could garden. Ssshhhhh secret.....w....my sister is getting married.........she got her ring last night too.........shhhhh

21 on 3/21 at 3:21

can I get an Amen

I love my freakin life.

I feel like I somehow attract creepy guys recently and I don't like it.

Do I have a sign written on my forehead that I can't take care of myself.

Oh well.

v-day

I want to scream, and scream every obscenity I know. I'm trying to not dwell on the fact im the last single person of my entire adult family, minus an aunt and uncle that dont count. I feel like everyone if worried about me. But I'm fine, really. And fine is okay. Some days I wanna cry, but that's ok too. I think some people question my toughness/weakness state. And I guess I don't give myself enough credit or too much credit. Well who really knows. Can anyone adequately measure and figure out exactly where they stand? I doubt it. Some days I wish certain things turned out differently, and I wish I didn't try to rush my life. I wish I hadn't/didn't wish for the next step. Can't I take a f***ing breath and enjoy what I have? Can't I stop questioning every single step I'm taken or took? I guess this is my valentines blues. And a fucking dozen red roses, and chocolate, and bath salt, from a boy with a fucking fiance. That's whats bullshit. Kinda ironic that v-day is a holiday based on love, and for those in love its exactly that, but in actuality v-day was a massacre and to those who are single its just that. A massacre of the heart.

bulllshitssss

................

ohh buddy

Im going out Saturday.... I'm really excited! Also classes start this week! :) A week from right now ill be sitting in class.

I need to learn and be patient and just take things as they come.

2012

What do I want to do this year?

I want to completely live in my own skin. I want to wake up everyday and be truly grateful that I am alive. I want to try new things, and take a little risk. I want to be so into Jesus, and learn to fully trust him in everything. I want to make a radical change. I want to help people. I want to follow a calling. I want to fall in love, hopelessly and hold nothing back. I want to give my all to someone. In 2012 I will respect myself more. I will only seek to be around others who respect me just as much. If I get in a relationship I will make sure that I am an equal part of that, I will require them to be just as into me and give a shit as I do about what they think of me. I'm not going to care about the status quo, or how I measure up to the society around me. I want to change and evolve to become a much more rounded person.

This year I want to hope, dream, wish, love, leap, learn, and believe. I wish to commit my whole life to the plan God has for me and to completely stop worrying about. I want to immerse myself in Jesus.