its been a while since ive wrote something, yeah im bored with my life, i started making decisions that were starting to really screw up my life, i dont like that, so im on the road to recovery i guess you could say, I found myself becoming exactly the kind of person i always hated. I feel like a hypocrite. Im starting now and trying to get back to what really matters. I feel like this is a never ending cycle i find myself in. I think i need to slow down and smell the flowers, take a breath, and realize all these wonderful things around me that keep happening. I feel lost......I dont like that....I feel like im going in a million differant directions. And I realized some other things to, about how i just cant let go of stuff that i really should, i dont like that. And its not like i can blame in on anyone but myself. I realized this week, or today, my procrastinating needs to stop, I have all these things i want to do, Three careers i want before i die, and the way im going now it wont be happening, so im changing that too, or at least trying to. If procrastinating is in my genetic make-up i think its a harder task than i think. I realized i've been really self absorbed, and just selfish, its stupid and i hate myself for that. So as of now, or earlier im turning over a new leaf, im not exactly sure what that means but, Im going to do things i truly love, and hang out with people that want to be good people like me, not people that corrupt me, Im going to be a good friend, and not self absorbed, well this is my hope and dreams for tonight