dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room

I got to see a phlebectomy today. Its small incisions made in the leg, and the surgeon uses a crochet hook type tool and tiny plyers and pulls the varicose vein out and cuts part of it, and she pulls out tiny clots. The patients awake the whole time too. Insane
I literally feel like i did nothing today.

I get off work at three on fridays, and i feel like its a mini vacation! and It's wonderful! I went and bought beads!! and visited Morgan and Joey at work. And I felt really insecure today, and I really hate that feeling, and its not about my looks or personality. Its about something else. I get this feeling that I'm on the verge of really Fucking things up. And then I find out that someone I really appreciate in my life, thinks I'm awesome. And It;s a nice ego boost that I'm sure I don't need.

I feel like I am closer and farther away from the person I always wanted to be. Well, I shouldn't say farther away, I just never pictured some of the things I have happening in my life. It really is exciting though. I talk my self out of things I shouldn't be feeling a lot easier now, and I think I'm using my head more in some areas, and in others my heart just takes a leap and lands at the bottom of the ocean.

As for other matters not pertaining to the heart, there aren't any, I really pretty much feel everything. Its all part of my charm.