Thanksgiving

sI can seriously not believe its thanksgiving already, and the day is over. The past year has been the best of times and the worst of times, but i look back and the good outweighs the bad in some things, and in others i find it worse. But that is life with the good and the bad. Reflecting on the thanksgiving meal, it takes hours and sometimes days to make, then have you ever realized its gone within 20 mins, and your stuck with the leftovers for days. This was one year that i did absolutely no cooking, I straightened up my house! and it was completely ok with me that i didnt cook. Yana, my madre, tab and morgan did an excellant Job! We all go to Yana's and i feel like one day, when we are all grown up, everyone will be at my house, and it will just be the best of times, I cant wait for ten years from now and we all look back and are just amazed about everything that has happened in our lives. Ok venture inside my brain for a second, It will help explain this more.........Ten years from now i see myself hopefully, im my cute little house, with ,maybe a husband, ill be 27, my sisters and their children, i doubt ill have kids yet, but us all at my house, which is warm and colorful, enjoying our thanksgiving then putting up the christmas tree, and watching movies and playing games and talking about all of our fantastic thanksgivings we had. I want to start traditions, im all about that cozy feeling of doing the same things every year because thats the way it is. Just like cookie day!..........ok back to the real world........ I havent been sleeping enough, but im okay with that actually, its weird i know........I feel like my life is about to change drastically and im not sure if i like it, but at the same time im really welcomeing the change from the everyday monotony, I feel like i am all over the place, and i feel like i cant stay focused very well, i dont think this is that good. Changes that are taking place are, my aunt comes wednesday........bryan will be leaving sometime next weekend, this is crushing my world, and Part of me is happy because it will make my life a bit easier, and every kid does deserve to be with their mom, but i just want her to f*** up too, so he comes back, but i dont at the same time, it confuses me, and i just feel like when should i get close to people if they just leave then leave this huge whole that i have to try and fill with something, and i dont want this to make me resentful, and it to close me off, because that has happened before. I want to be able to love other people and not be scared they will leave, i guess this is just something i will have to work on........ I'm sick of superficial friendships. They really bring me down, like some of my best friends i havent talked to in about a week, and we havent had a real indepth conversation sice long before that, and i dont like when that becomes ok, it frustrates me. College! wow im really excited for it, and im almost there, i need to stop my procrastination and do what i need to do, because i have things that i really feel i need to do. On a differant note, I realized how much i appreciate my mom today, she is the most incredible woman i know, and Im so proud of her. And wow i love her, and i forget this sometimes, well not that i forget that i love my mom but i forget how much and how truely incredible she is and how much she loves me. I will never be able to thank god enough for her. She has been through so much, and she continues to put other people before herself, and still try to make herself a better person. She sees hard things and she faces them head on. I could go on forever describing how amazing she is, she has taught me to much, and for that i am truly grateful. I met a very cute child today, and i instantly loved him the moment i saw him. and it was so cool, that there was this instantanious connection, and i found that to be amazing! Im really thankful for all the people that are in my life right now, and just being able to wake up each day, having no one to look down on me. Im starting to feel free, and i want to ride the wind, fly like a bird, take a road trip, swim in the beach, hug a friend, taste the snow, see the northern lights, dream of my future, paint in black and white, surf the waves, fall asleep laughing. oh another thing, im dog sitting. Good night my loves